I never thought about the day I would lose my husband. On the day of May 17, 2020, he lost his life in a motorcycle accident. I gave him 3 hugs that day and he gave me a kiss and said I love you & I’ll see you later. Later never came. He was a fit healthy 30 year old handsome man, he wasn’t supposed to die, he was too young. He was the closest thing I had. I feel so alone, so empty without him. I have overcame so many obstacles in life but the level of sadness I feel is so unreal.
My days feel long and I try to find joy in everyday activities, I mostly do it for our baby boy. God I miss him so much! I loved him so much! If only I can have a little bit of time back to appreciate him more, if only I can just talk to him one more time or just simply see him. Sometimes you don’t think about these things when you are with your significant other.
The only thing I want is to see him smiling one more time, more than anything in this world. I made him a promise, that I would make sure our baby boy is full of joy and love💕, that I would make him proud & keep on moving forward, helping people along the way.
His death made me realize the true meaning of life & how precious it really is & not to take anyone for granted. Material things don’t really matter but the memories you create with your loved ones do & those memories are the ones that last for a lifetime.
I’m still healing & learning to be by myself everyday. This is by far the hardest thing I had to do.
I was with him for 11 years. You can’t even begin to imagine, waking up everyday to that person who makes your life complete. You can’t know the bond, the commitment, the boredom, the yearning, the laughter, the love we had. No one can understand but me.
Everything we sacrificed, every single moment we went through, the years I gave him, the years he gave me, and now he’s just gone, and nothing & no one can compare to the bond we had. Our love was pure and we were connected as one.
My better half is now gone it’s hard to talk about this to anyone because no one understands, what I’m going through, & sadly no one wants to see me when I’m sad or crying because nothing anyone says can make me feel better.
The only thing I can do is try to take it day by day. Time heals all wounds. The memories we made together will always stay in my heart. I know one thing for sure is that my love for him will always be there. He was my best friend, my soulmate, my first love, my better half. Although I feel like my world is falling apart, my son is what keeps me going, he is my motivation to keep on moving forward.
Chris was my soul mate, my best friend, and the best father to Liam. He adored all of his nieces & nephews and he loved his family very much.
He was always working to be the best version of himself to everyone, eating healthy & exercising even after we had a baby. His smile was so amazing & the way he would talk to random strangers everywhere we would go was something that really intrigued me.
The first time we met 11 years ago, I got a package sent to the wrong address and he knocked on my door and gave it to me and we talked & laughed for hours after that, I knew right then and there that he was my soulmate & I never wanted to be with anyone else but him.
He made me complete & brought me years of happiness and laughter. There was never a day I felt bored with him for he is a Gemini and it was like dating 2 people at the same time.
He was spontaneous and he always wanted to explore and do things I never thought were possible. He loved helping people, even when he knew nothing about them. He would always come with me to volunteer and serve food to the homeless.
He cared for each and every human being. I remember we would watch the news and they needed people to come in and donate food for the food bank and he would gather up all the food and donate it.
I remember this day he told me when he came back from volunteering at hospital, he came to me crying because he was trying to save this mans life and that man died in his arms and he was sad because he couldn’t save him and that the nurses were saying not to feel bad that it happens all the time but he just broke down every time he would think about that man.
He had a good heart. I didn’t get to be with him for rest of my life, but I got the rest of his and I’m glad that I was able to make him happy. I will always cherish our time together & remember all the things we went through & hopefully one day we can meet again and travel through the universe, through different dimensions & be explorers for eternal life 🦋